Crawling into a hole

by Cooper Young

I must confess that, despite knowing that it may never come, I lust for the day when I can allow to my writing a place of prominence in my life.  Granted, my family must and will be my greatest priority, but I do hope for a day when my work can occupy a place immediately behind that. 

That day is certainly not today, as was poingantly illustrated by the nightmares I had this morning while sleeping off the last vestiges of a week in Las Vegas with my soon-to-be-in-laws.  In the first my wedding dress, which I ordered a few months ago, arrived, but was white and made of some cheap material.  In the second, I realized that I was enrolled in a class which I had never actually attended and would not graduate without.  I had to check my schedule online to assure myself that the latter was not indeed true.

It is pretty clear, then, what my current issues are.  I marry on the twenty-sixth of June, three months from this past Friday.  I still have to:

  • Complete the premarital counseling required by my religion
  • Complete family planning classes (also required)
  • Attend at least two more meetings with the priest
  • Find music for the ceremony
  • Find music for the reception
  • Find a florist
  • Figure out what colors will work with my dress (I’m not wearing white.  It looks awful on me and I have 15 month old child.  I’m not fooling anyone.)
  • Ask one of my bridesmaids if she will actually be willing to be a bridesmaid
  • Find a baker (butcher and candlestick maker optional)
  • Get a copy of my baptismal certificate from the church where I was baptized (somewhere in Southern California)
  • Ask my brother-in-law if he would be willing to act as our photographer
  • Print invitations

If that wasn’t enough, I also graduate college with my bachelor’s in English on the twenty-first of May.  This will require:

  • Passing sixteen upper division hours (This includes three classes which culminate in papers with a minimum page requirement of 10.)
  • Scheduling the Reasoning Skills Test to fulfill a requirement which I didn’t know I needed
  • Passing the aforementioned test (Lots of math.  I reiterate: Bachelor of the Arts in ENGLISH)
  • Not spontaneously combusting.

Sigh.  I’ve no time to write at all.  I don’t think that it’s so terribly wrong to just want a glass of rum, a sleeping baby, and a blank page.

I really should stop wasting time.