Crawling into a hole
by Cooper Young
I must confess that, despite knowing that it may never come, I lust for the day when I can allow to my writing a place of prominence in my life. Granted, my family must and will be my greatest priority, but I do hope for a day when my work can occupy a place immediately behind that.
That day is certainly not today, as was poingantly illustrated by the nightmares I had this morning while sleeping off the last vestiges of a week in Las Vegas with my soon-to-be-in-laws. In the first my wedding dress, which I ordered a few months ago, arrived, but was white and made of some cheap material. In the second, I realized that I was enrolled in a class which I had never actually attended and would not graduate without. I had to check my schedule online to assure myself that the latter was not indeed true.
It is pretty clear, then, what my current issues are. I marry on the twenty-sixth of June, three months from this past Friday. I still have to:
- Complete the premarital counseling required by my religion
- Complete family planning classes (also required)
- Attend at least two more meetings with the priest
- Find music for the ceremony
- Find music for the reception
- Find a florist
- Figure out what colors will work with my dress (I’m not wearing white. It looks awful on me and I have 15 month old child. I’m not fooling anyone.)
- Ask one of my bridesmaids if she will actually be willing to be a bridesmaid
- Find a baker (butcher and candlestick maker optional)
- Get a copy of my baptismal certificate from the church where I was baptized (somewhere in Southern California)
- Ask my brother-in-law if he would be willing to act as our photographer
- Print invitations
If that wasn’t enough, I also graduate college with my bachelor’s in English on the twenty-first of May. This will require:
- Passing sixteen upper division hours (This includes three classes which culminate in papers with a minimum page requirement of 10.)
- Scheduling the Reasoning Skills Test to fulfill a requirement which I didn’t know I needed
- Passing the aforementioned test (Lots of math. I reiterate: Bachelor of the Arts in ENGLISH)
- Not spontaneously combusting.
Sigh. I’ve no time to write at all. I don’t think that it’s so terribly wrong to just want a glass of rum, a sleeping baby, and a blank page.
I really should stop wasting time.