A Twelve-Point Plan For Good Happy Success
by V Rose Dahrke
Partially inspired by changes elsewhere in my life, I have come to the conclusion that this blog needs a bit of a makeover. This has been coming for a while now; a combination of exhaustion and terror has stayed my hand til now. My blog is clearly in need of a little help, and while my previous methods have served me moderately well over the past year and a half I can definitely do better. Thus, I have a list of changes you may see in the future. It may take me a while, but I’m going to attempt to:
1. Remember to actually post. Seriously. It’s like I need to set a reminder on my phone or something. It’s not just that I sometimes don’t remember at all; an equally pressing problem is my tendency to remember at the last minute and try to throw something together. Case in point: it is currently ten thirty on a Monday night. “Updating on Mondays” should not mean “panicking to update while it’s still technically Monday.”
2. Rename this sucker. Clear issues of branding aside, the name has become outdated. My return to Tentavaile is inevitable, but for now another city holds my professional focus. Excuse me while I try to think up something cleverish that doesn’t make everyone involved groan. It may be a while.
3. Not publish a rough draft every single time. I am, and have always been, what they call a “pantser”, one who does about zero planning before writing. It generally works well for me. On the other hand, I was also raised by a mother of Pennsylvania Dutch descent (she was fond of saying “For you, on the table, dinner I put”) in a country where pronouns quite literally do not exist. There are times when I publish a post which makes perfect sense to me, but which reads like the auto-writing of a duck in a fever dream to anyone else. I very much need to put my annoyance with having to do real work aside and make more than one half-assed stab at lucidity.
4. Show, rather than tell. I need to use more pictures. All the cool kids are doing it.
5. Use more links. Because certain people are just putting me to shame.
6. Write posts, not Post-its. Too often my mad scramble to post leads to tiny, nonsensical notes about why I couldn’t write something worth reading. No more. 5oo word minimum from now on. Period.
7. Learn to play more than one note. I like to write about what I’m writing; I really just do. It helps me think things through. Since I finished Descent, however, I’ve lost a good deal of momentum writing-wise, and that has transferred to my posts here. I have other interests. Don’t be surprised to see something on gardening or knitting or self-mutilation in the near future.
8. Make a damn point. I have a problem with this. Nine times out of ten, I have no idea what I intend to say when I start writing. That would be fine if I actually went back and made things cohesive once I finished but, as discussed before, I don’t. Clearly, this needs fixing.
9. Listen to other people. I can’t expect to have a successful blog when I don’t bother to keep up with those I’ve subscribed to. I could blame it on my email, but that doesn’t excuse my laziness in seeking a solution.
10. Speak when spoken to. When I do read (which, mind you, I did voraciously up until the move) I rarely take the time to comment. What can I say? Blogging is easier for extroverts. This, if nowhere else, is an area in which I intend to improve.
11. Figure out what the hell I’m doing. As I just implied, extroverted I am not. I don’t know how to engage people. I never have. Maybe I can learn, but I’ll have to try a lot harder than this.
12. …Come up with a twelfth goal. Seriously you guys, I titled this post with a quote from Aqua Teen Hunger Force without actually making sure I had twelve things. Whoops.